BAD MOVIE NIGHT ARCHIVE
2005-2006
(that means you missed them... D'oh!!)

Sunday October 22nd

DOLOMITE

The legendary bad movie. It would be the Star Wars Holiday Special of
blaxploitation films, except it doesn't make you want to kill yourself,
and there's no Bea Arthur. If Bea Arthur WAS in it, she'd be, like,
turned out on the street 'n shit. Or part of Dolemite's all-girl army of
Kung Fu killers. Hell, that would be the best movie EVER. But anyway.

As the video box promises (would they lie?): Bone-crushing,
skull-splitting, brain-blasting ACTION!

And, unfortunately, no Bea Arthur.

Your hosts will will be KROB, Pete Goldie, GeekBoy, and Bea Arthur

Sunday October 15th

WIRED

Dan Aykroyd doesn't want you to see this movie about his fellow Blues
Brother John Belushi. Neither does the guy from The Shield, who played
the lead role and is probably a little embarrased about it. Jim Belushi
would rather you kept your distance from this biopic of his more talented
and very dead brother.

We want you to see this movie, since it's bad. Really bad.

Who are you gonna trust?

with yer hosts Mike Spiegelman, Jim Fourniadis and Christopher Hayes

Sunday October 8th

Knock Off

If you were a film geek in the early nineties, you probably heard rumors
about the amazing action movies being made in Hong Kong. You maybe even
found the occasional bootleg of movies as A Chinese Ghost Story, The
Killer, and Once Upon a Time in China. Masterpieces. You might have
noticed a recurring name: Tsui Hark. He produced some, directed
others--must be a genius. Admit it: you wished he would come to Hollywood
and show 'em how it's done.

Like tonight's feature, starring Jean-Claude Van Damme and Rob Schneider.

Directed by Tsui Hark.

Masterpiece? Well...

Be careful what you wish for.

with your hosts Sherilyn Connelly, Mike Spiegelman and Jim Fourniadis

Sunday October 1st

Bad TV Movie Night - Super Heroes

The Incredible Hulk and Shazam!

with your hosts Sherilyn Connelly, Mikl-Em and Jim Fourniadis

Sunday September 24th

Kingdom of Spiders

Right around the time that he was waiting for the phone to ring about that
new Star Trek movie, William Shatner paid the rent as Dr. Robert "Rack"
Hansen, who manages to find time to fend off an invasion of spiders while
ropin' cattle, wooin' the slick city women and bein' an-all around Arizona
studmufin. Hey, you'd do the same if you were called "Rack."

Any similarities between this movie and "Arachnophobia" or "Eight-Legged
Freaks" are entirely stupid.

Your hosts Jim Fourniadis, GeekBoy, and Sherilyn Connelly collectively
have eight...oh...huh...they have six legs, actually. Shoot. Never mind.

Sunday September 10th

IMPULSE

Filmed in Florida without a budget in 1974 during toupee-moulting season,
our man Bill is a psychotic, leisure suit-wearing conman who bilks rich
women out their money, and then kills--

We had you at the leisure suits, didn't we?

If you tell anyone, your hosts Jim Fourniadis, GeekBoy and Sean Owens
will...KILL...you!

Sunday August 27th

You're Tobe Hooper. You make the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre,
universally acclaimed as one of the best horror movies ever made.
Unfortunately, your next few movies kinda suck. When Steven Spielberg
(him, again!) hires you to make Poltergeist, he interferes so much it
ends up looking more like one of his movies than yours.

So what do you do next? What's your big comeback picture about, to show
that you've still got it?

Space vampires! You, know, vampires from space! From Halley's Comet,
even!

Oh, hell. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

Sucking the life out of this one will be your hosts Jim Fourniadis, John
Harrison and Sherilyn Connelly.

Sunday August 20th
(scroll down for more august dates)

Any pretentious-ass Orson Welles-wannabe "you shouldn't make fun of
movies"-whining film student will tell you that Steven Spielberg ruined
Hollywood. Back in the early seventies, every single movie that came out
was a dark brooding adult-themed masterpiece with realistic characters and
gritty endings. And then Spielberg had to go and make Jaws, thus
establishing the concept of the summer blockbuster. Garfield: A Tale of
Two Kitties can be traced directly back to Jaws.

So can Orca: The Killer Whale, a blatant 1977 Jaws rip-off from Italy
starring Richard Harris, Charlotte Rampling, and Bo Derek's breasts. By
the time this one's over, you'll be wishing it was Garfield III.

There's no boat big enough for your hosts Mikl-Em, Jim Fourniadis and
Sherilyn Connelly.

Sunday August 13th

COOL AS ICE

Ah, the engima of Vanilla Ice. He was kinda like a less angry Eminem,
even though he scowled a lot more. Or Perry Como with flashier clothes.
His biggest hit, "Ice Ice Baby," ripped off both David Bowie and Queen,
but he wasn't no fag or nothin'. He dated Madonna for eight months (hey,
everybody makes mistakes). His real name is Robert Van Winkle. And his
best movie was Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze.

We repeat...his best movie was Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret
of the Ooze.

So, we bring you Cool As Ice.

Dropping the hero and getting with the zero will be your hosts Sherilyn
Connelly, Jim Fourniadis and John Harrison. Word to THEIR mothers, not
yours.

Sunday August 6th

BAD RONALD

So, there's this kid (I forget his name), he accidentally kills this
girl, and his crazy-ass mother decides to hide him behind a brick wall,
then she dies, and--

No, wait. It's more like, there's this family who moves into this
house, and there's these weird sounds coming from behind a wall, but it's
hard to define "weird" Dabney Coleman is your father, and--

Oh, forget all that. Let's just say the movie was made for teevee in
1974, and you can really tell.

Grouting the bricks on this Nixon-era cheesefest will be Helena Nolan,
Sherilyn Connelly, and Jim Fourniadis.

Sunday July 30th

ESCAPE FROM NY

Kurt Russell with an eyepatch doing his best Clint Eastwood.

Lee Van Cleef wishing it really was Clint Eastwood.

Adrienne Barbeau's boobies.

Pre-Scientology Isaac Hayes.

Director John Carpenter using a Casio for the soundtrack.

Ernest Borgnine. (Cabbie's gonna smash you punks!)

East St. Louis, Illinois standing in for New York.

Not even Harry Dean Stanton could save this one.

Your hosts Pete Goldie, GeekBoy and Jim Fourniadis must be insane to try
to break in. You know what they did to Fresno Bob.

Sunday July 23th

OC and STIGGS

The list of great movies directed by Robert Altman is a mile long:
M*A*S*H, The Player, McCabe & Mrs. Miller, The Long Goodbye, O.C. and
Stiggs, Short Cuts...

...O.C. and Stiggs?

Whoops. That's from the OTHER list of movies directed by Robert Altman.

Revoking Altman's honorary Oscar will be Mike Spiegelman, Jon Bailey and
Jim Fourniadis.

Sunday July 16th

Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace

There's something called a critic-proof movie. It's a movie that, no
matter how much it sucks...no matter how bad the script...no matter much
it relies on fart and poop jokes...no matter how scenes are of meetings
and confererences about trade routes and tariffs (what the hell is a
tariff?)...no matter how much time is spent on JAR JAR FUCKING BINKS...it
will still make a zillion dollars and certain people will defend it.

Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace is critic-proof.

But it isn't Bad Movie Night-proof.

Restoring balance to the Force will be Jim Fourniadis, GeekBoy and
Sherilyn Connelly.

Sunday July 9th

Fatal Attraction

Married man boinks unstable chick. Chick stalks.
And a movie is born.

Yer hosts tearin this one up will be Betsy Sulkind, Heather Gold, and Sherilyn Connelly

Sunday June 25th

STAYING ALIVE

Actor John Travolta needed a hit.
Writer/director Sylvester Stallone wanted a hit.
Soundrack musician and lucky brother Frank Stallone needed...well, WANTED
a hit.
America neither needed nor wanted a sequel to Saturday Night Fever.
What could possibly go wrong?

Your hosts Sherry Sirof, Jacob Sirof and Jim Fourniadis will have plenty of time to talk.

Sunday June 18th

RAMBO FIRST BLOOD PART II

Boy, I saw Rambo last night. Now I know what to
do the next time this happens.

Ronald Reagan, June 1985, at a press conference
after the release of the hostages in Lebanon

'nuff said.

Your hosts GeekBoy, Jim Fourniadis and
Sherilyn Connelly get to win this time.

Sunday June 11th

REAL GENIUS

The reason why I like Real Genius:

I never sleep, I don't know why. I had a roomate and I drove her nuts, I mean really nuts, they had to take her away in an ambulance and everything. But she's okay now, but she had to transfer to an easier school, but I don't know if that had anything to do with being my fault. But listen, if you ever need to talk or you need help studying just let me know, 'cause I'm just a couple doors down from you guys and I never sleep, okay? -Jordan (Michelle Meyrink)

It's Rihannion's birthday she's FINALLY turning 21 (geez, i don't even remember if I ever was 21) She'll be hosting this romp through the 80's with her pals the hilarious John Harrison and the talented Alexia Staniotes

Sunday June 4th

INVASION USA

The Eighties are the new Seventies!

Our tribute to the Reagan Era begins with a chilling artifact,
the specter of destruction which hung over us all in those dark
days...Chuck Norris. He actually used to star in movies. It's hard to imagine now, but it's true. This movie about Chucky Baby singlehandedly battling an army of invadiing Commies or something, but that's not important. What matters is that we NEVER LET THIS HAPPEN AGAIN.

Reliving the horror are your hosts GeekBoy, Jim Fourniadis and Sherilyn Connelly.

Sunday May 28th

BOB CRANE DOUBLE FEATURE

Bob Crane. If you watched television in the sixties or seventies
you probably saw his face. If you were a woman who didn't
mind having sex on videotape with washed-up celebrities,
you probably saw a lot more than his face. This week's
Bad Movie Night auto-focuses on his *clothed* acting
career, with his guest spots on Quincy and Nancy Drew.

Your fellow voyeurs are Mikl-Em, Mike Spiegelman and Jim Fourniadis.

Sunday May 21st

GLITTER
Coucrapgh

Yer hosts Sherilyn Connelly, Sean Owens and Jim Fourniadis

Sunday May 14th
BLOOD FREAK

The original blood sucking, chopper riding, bible bashing, dope smoking, limb hacking,
TURKEY monster movie. Because all the other blood sucking, chopper riding, bible bashing, dope smoking,
limb hacking, TURKEY monster movies are just a
bunch 'o copycats.

The guy gets high, turns into a turkey monster and kills drug dealers. God, how many times had that been done!

Yer hosts for this redundent fiasco is Alexia Staniotes,
John Harrison and Jim Fourniadis

Sunday May 7th.
BATTLEFIELD EARTH
JUST PLAIN BOOOORING

Arizona Daily Star: "Some movies just beg the question: "What were they thinking?" ""Battlefield Earth" is so laughably bad that it makes the Kevin Costner boon doggles "Waterworld" and "The Postman" look sophisticated in comparison. ""But perhaps the most unfortunate thing about it is that it can't be ridiculed on the now-canceled "Mystery Science Theater 3000."

And this is where we come in. Not so
unfortunate eh?

Yer hosts for this debacle are Sherilyn Connelly,
Mike Spiegelman and Mikl-Em

Sunday April 30th
TRAXX

Ever since Jim previewed Traxx he's been sitting in the corner, drooling, staring, mumbling
Traxx..... Cookies.....Cookies.....Traxx

We have Mike Spiegelman to blame for bringing us
one of the dumbest movies ever made. Watch it
at your own risk. Speegs will be hosting along with
the blistering wit of GeekBoy and Jim, of course,
will be drooling in the corner. Thanks Mikey.

Sunday April 23rd
They Live

John Carpenters Paranoid Thriller. Or is it?

We're thrilled to have hosting this massacre those current and ex pants pissin members of Single Entendre Rey Zegri and Misha Frenklak along with our homeboy Jim Fourniadis

Sunday April 16th
ROADHOUSE

Patrick Swayze, after earning his doctorate in Eastern Philosophy winds up in a small town tavern as a bouncer. Wear yer sh*t kickers cuz we're going to beat the crap out of this masterpiece.

Yer hosts ya'll will be the naturally hilarious Sherilyn Connelly, the wicked mind of Mikl-Em, and our home boy cut-up Jim Fourniadis.

Sunday April 9th
White Comanche

Young William Shattner playing twin brothers (both roles).
Watch it just to see him fight it out with himself, i mean
his twin brother. Can you say Crap Fest?
Don't get us wrong, we're Bill's biggest fans.

Jim nearly jumped out of his drawers when he got his hot
lil hands on this flick. He'll be hosting with the hilarious
Mr. Boy, Mr. GeekBoy and that megaphone wielding cut-up
Pete Goldie.

Sunday April 2nd
Mesa of Lost Women

Is it Ed Wood or is it not Ed Wood? Spot the glaring
inconsistencies.The impossible plot.
Did I mention the brilliant acting? No?
There's a reason for that.

Hosting this evening's treat we're excited to bring you
the talented Helena Nolon, former Ebb Tide owner
Kelleigh Trowbridge and the always hilarious Sherilyn Connelly.

Sunday March 26th
It's Bad Movie Nights
ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY

No one thought it could last.
Some of you were hoping it wouldn't.
But the hate mail kept us going.
We're thrilled to bring you the flim that kicked off BMN
1 year ago this Sunday

RED DAWN

Over the year we've had some hilarious hosts.
Some real pants pissers. Tonight we bring you three
of the most urinary inducing folks out there:
Geekboy, Sherilyn Connelly and Jim "The Groom" Fourniadis

Come help us celebrate this disaster.

Sunday March 19th
Bail Out

David Hasselhoff and Linda Blair in a car wreck of a
flick. It's got 1980's written all over it from the Head sponsered wardrobes to it's smashing soundtrack.

This weeks hosts are 3 of our fav's. Piss yer pants to the hilarious rants of GeekBoy, Sherilyn Connelly and Mike Spiegelman

Sunday March 12th
ALL THAT JAZZ

Bob Fosse directed this movie with Roy Scheider, a 4 foot high mega star, as himself - there's dancing girls in Aeorta costumes and Ben Vereen as the head of Purgartory in an elaborate dream sequence, creepy behavior, and open heart surgery! Not for the squeamish or faint at heart!!

Sunday December 18th
It's a Wonderful Life

With hosts
Sean Owens, Sherilyn Connelly, Jim Fourniadis

Sunday December 4th
Pearl Harbor

With hosts
Mikl-Em, Stuart Mangrum, Sherilyn Connelly

Sunday November 27th
Dragnet

With hosts
Sherilyn Connelly, Mykel Board and Jim Fourniadis

Sunday November 20th
Tommy

Big shoes? Baked Beans?
Jack Nicholson Singing?

We know you think it's a good flick
but you're older.
See it again for the first time.

Hosting this Rock fest are our own
Alexia, John and Rhiannon

Sunday November 13th
Doctor of Doom

With hosts
Geekboy, Stoo Odom, Jim Fourniadis

Sunday October 30th
The Poseidon Adventure

It's another Borg9 Punk Smashing Extravaganza with
Ernest and all his friends. How many continuity errors
can you spot? Free popcorn to whoever picks out the most!

Tonights movie smashing punks are Geekboy, Pete Goldie
and Jim Fourniadis

Sunday October 23rd
Viva Knievel

Evil in his first dramatic movie role. oy vey

Hosting this masterpiece are those Pirate Cat Radio DJ's from
the Fat-A-Tat Show Marilyn, Heather Macallister with Jim Fourniadis

Sunday October 16th
Cheerleader Camp

with hosts The Cock T's

Sunday October 9th
Poltergeist

Craig T. Nelson, passive aggressive ghosts, and a confusing implasuable plot.
These are the elements of a great bad movie. Why sit at home where no
one can truly appreciate the wise cracks you always seem to be coming
up with. Here at Bad Movie Night, you're the host.

But just in case you're feeling a little shy we'll bring some wise cracking hosts with
us and this week you're in for a special treat. It's a Batman cast special with
Mikl-Em (the Joker) Sean Owens (the Riddler) and our own Jim Fourniadis
(writer and director of Batman)

PIRATE CAT RADIO NIGHT!
Sunday, Sept 18th
Sheena: Queen of the Jungle

Did you read that?
Right there at the bottom.

It says: Part Animal. Part Legend. All Woman.

You wouldn't have believed me if i just told you.

You might remember Tanya Roberts from "Charlie's Angels". Why? Because she's as coifed and clean as she was then. And this from a chick living in a jungle with dirt and shrubs, trees, animals and animal poop. The best acting in Sheena comes from the Elephant and the Chimp.
You'll love it

Your ferocious hosts this evening will be those loveable Pirate Cat DJ's
Stoo Odom, Patrick Simms, and Jim Fourniadis

Sunday, Sept 4th
Showgirls

How can this happen?
How can a movie be full of hot babes and still be this bad?
Bad Movie Night proves once again that
sex can't sell everything.

This weeks pervy hosts include:
David Capurro, Ken Kneisel, Jim Fourniadis

Sunday August 28th 8pm
NIGHTHAWKS

According to Epinions: Of all the law enforcement roles Sylvester Stallone played over the years,
Deke DaSilva in Nighthawks is the most realistic.

Sly is in drag.

Twice.

Perhaps all those tuff guy roles were overcompensation for something.
(you know i read in a book somewhere that Stallone's kink had to do with lesbians on a see through plexiglass bed)

If it wasn't for Stallone, Bad Movie Night would be meaningless.
Also appearing, frightening kraut, Rutger Hauer;
Six million dollar babe, Lindsey Wagner;
Bald Star Trek Bitch, Persis Khambata; and
Colt-45 Spokesman and Star wars hero, Billy de Williams.

Hey, at least we're not showing Oscar.

Hosting this marginal (coubulldukeygh) bad movie will be:
Ray Zegri, Misha Frenklak and our own Jim Fourniadis

August 21st

Ok, this movie isn't so much bad as creepy.
It's bad enough lots of us have traumatic clown
memories from childhood, but this movie even
inserts bizzarro, kinky clown sex into our deepest
darkest phobias. I won't be able to eat cotton candy
for a month.

Tonight's bigtop includes
that illustrious man of science and literature, Dr. Hal Robins;
(Hal got stuck in traffic, so Sean Owens stepped in)
the president of Wiseguy, Local 25, Geekboy;
and your banjo playing ringmaster himself, Jim Fourniadis.

Warning: uneaten popcorn may spawn aliens.

August 14th
Labyrinth

David Bowie, Jim Henson and George Lucas.
How did it happen?
How could they make a movie like this?
Wait a minute, did I just say
David Bowie, Jim Henson and George Lucas?
...oh, yeah.

This weeks hosts: Sam Shaw, Bryce Byerly
and surprise: Jim Fourniadis!

Sunday August 7th
Satan's Triangle  

This weeks hosts:

YOUR MC: the always talkative Sherilyn Connelly,
Joined by mild mannered psycho Geekboy,
and notorious snappy dresser Sean Owens.