Sunday,
June 16, 2013, 6pm

It's that time of the year: in honor of the birthdays of The Dark Room's favorite Geminis, Rhiannon (June 12) and myself (June 16), we're riffing on the two Poltergeist movies, which are both very lousy. In a row. Back to back.
By the way, I was born on June 16, 1973, so come help my celebrate the lifetime's worth of questionable choices that have resulted in me watching the fucking Poltergeist sequels on my 40th birthday!
It'll be more Heather O'Rourke than you can shake a stick at. And why would you shake a stick at her, anyway? Damn, you suck.
But that's okay, because you're still our BFF, and we totally want you to come to our birthday party, okay? It's going to be a total blast, we swear. Our parents are out of town and it's just going to be a whole lot of fun and you don't have to stay for the whole
time if you want to and just please show up, okay?
We know it's a schoolnight for a lot of you, so we're starting early: 6pm. That's when we're going to watch the 1986 Poltergeist II, with Mikl-Em co-hosting. At 8pm-ish we'll watch Poltergeist III with Mike Spiegelman, and after that we'll all go home and go to bed.
Oh, and presents? Don't worry about it. Your presence is your present.
If you really wanna get us stuff, here's Rhiannon's Amazon wish list, and this is mine, though blank DVD-Rs always make me happy.
Though nothing would make me and Rhiannon happier than you joining us this Sunday, 'kay? 'kay.
Be sure to get there at 6pm for maximum Rourke.
June 23, 2013
House on Haunted Hill (1999)
No, House on Haunted Hill is not related to The Haunting of Hill House. Why would you even think that?
Mountainous pandemonium reigns.
Hosts:
Jim Fourniadis, Mike Spiegelman, Tim Kay, and other spooks.
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June 30, 2013
Amityville II: The Possession
The even more-true prequel to the "true story" that was made up in the first place.
Possessive wackiness ensues.
Hosts:
Sherilyn Connelly, Mikl-Em, Dan Foley, and other Montellis.
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July 7, 2013
The Blair Witch Project
The one that started it all. ("It all" being throwing up in the movie theater, that is.)
Handheld wackiness ensues.
Hosts:
Sherilyn Connelly, Mikl-Em, Ira Emsig, and other virals.
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July 14, 2013
Paranormal Activity 4
Answering all the unanswered questions from the first three, except for why there were already three.
Webcammed pandemonium reigns.
Hosts:
Jim Fourniadis, Tristan Buckner, Alexia Staniotes, and other camgirls.
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July 21, 2013
Apollo 18
The filmmakers call the monsters on the moon "moonsters," which tells you everything you need to know. .
Houston, we have wackiness ensuing.
Hosts:
Sherilyn Connelly, Mikl-Em, Tim Kay, and other cosmonauts.
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July 28, 2013
Quarantine
People in a building go nuts as a virus attacks, and someone keeps filming it on their camcorder, as you will. Also, was trounced at the box office by behind Beverly Hills Chihuahua.
Pandemical pandemonium reigns.
Hosts:
Jim Fourniadis, Mike Spiegelman, Maura Sipila, and other detainees.
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August 4, 2013
The Raid: Redemption
A cop who knows martial arts fucks a lot of people's shit up.
Unredeemed wackiness ensues.
Hosts:
Sherilyn Connelly, Mikl-Em, Rose Lacy, and other raiders.
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August 11, 2013
Hobo With a Shotgun
A homeless guy with big gun fucks a lot of people's shit up.
Homeless pandemonium reigns.
Hosts:
Jim Fourniadis, Dan Foley, and other tramps.
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August 18, 2013
Punisher: War Zone
A vigilante with a lot of guns fucks a lot of people's shit up.
Collateral wackiness ensues.
Hosts:
Sherilyn Connelly, Mike Spiegelman, Tristan Buckner, and other zoners.
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August 25, 2013
Ninja Assassin
A ninja who knows martial arts (duh!) fucks a lot of people's shit up.
Stealth pandemonium reigns.
Hosts:
Jim Fourniadis, Mikl-Em, John Hell, and other Shinobi.
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September 1, 2013
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part 2
Because OMG Bella and Edward!!!
Sparkly wackiness will finally cease to ensue.
Hosts:
Sherilyn Connelly, Mikl-Em, Alexia Staniotes, and other Renesmees .
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September 8, 2013
The Hunger Games
Teenagers battle each other royally in a futuristic dystopia. Also, they are hungry.
Gamey pandemonium reigns.
Hosts:
Jim Fourniadis, Sherilyn Connelly, Tristan Buckner, and other mockingjays.
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September 15, 2013
The Host (2013)
In Stephenie Meyer's first post-Twilight novel, a girl is possessed by an alien which does not result in sparkly skin, so what's even the point?
More mormon wackiness ensues.
Hosts:
Sherilyn Connelly, Mike Spiegelman, Ira Emsig, and other wanderers.
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September 22, 2013
Beautiful Creatures (2013)
They're not "witches," they're "casters," you racist.
Gothic pandemonium reigns.
Hosts:
Jim Fourniadis, Mikl-Em, Tim Kay, and other aesthically pleasing beings.
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September 29, 2013
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
Short people with hairy feet start walking somewhere again.
HFR wackiness ensues.
Hosts:
Jim Fourniadis, Mike Spiegelman, Maura Sipila, and other Bombadils.
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October 6, 2013
The Exorcist
The movie that made people realize that pea soup is actually kinda gross-looking.
Tubular wackiness ensues.
Hosts:
Jim Fourniadis, Mike Spigelman, John Hell, and other Blattys.
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October 13, 2013
Exorcist II: The Heretic
The movie that made people realize that Richard Burton is actually drunk most of the time.
Apostatic pandemonium reigns.
Hosts:
Sherilyn Connelly, Mikl-Em, Ira Emsig, and other Pazuzus.
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October 20, 2013
The Exorcist III
The movie that didn't make people realize anything, since they didn't see it.
Wackiness (which is legion) ensues.
Hosts:
Jim Fourniadis, Mike Spiegelman, Alexia Staniotes, and other Dourifs.
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October 27, 2013
Exorcist: The Beginning
The movie that shouldn't have been made in the first place (and this is the second try at the third sequel.)
Pandemonium with no end reigns.
Hosts:
Sherilyn Connelly, Mikl-Em, Dan Foley, and other Harlineqins.
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November 3, 2013
Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2
No, it didn't make much sense at the time, either.
Unreadable wackiness ensues.
Hosts:
Sherilyn Connelly, Mikl-Em, Tim Kay, and other Berlingers.
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November 10, 2013
Speed 2: Cruise Control
Because if "Die Hard on a bus" worked for the first movie, then why not "Die Hard on a bus boat" for the second movie? Why not, indeed.
Keanu-free pandemonium reigns.
Hosts:
Jim Fourniadis, Ziad Ezzat, Rose Lacy, and other Bullocks.
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November 17, 2013
Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3
The second sequel to the first Texas Chainsaw, and the first movie to make the second sequel look good.
Overtanned wackiness ensues.
Hosts:
Sherilyn Connelly, Mike Spiegelman, Maura Sipila, and other Viggos.
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November 24, 2013
Highlander 2: The Quickening
If any movie should have killed the possibility of furture sequels, it's this one. It should have gone back in time and killed the original, in fact.
Slow pandemonium reigns.
Hosts:
Jim Fourniadis, Mikl-Em, Dan Foley, and other McLeods.
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December 1, 2013
Santa Claus: The Movie
The guys who made the first three Superman movies try to do the same with Santa Claus. It turns out about as well
as Superman IV.
Reindeer-powered wackiness ensues.
Hosts:
Sherilyn Connelly, Tristan Buckner, Maura Sipila and other blitzens.
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December 8, 2013
It's a Wonderful Life
Frank Capra and Jimmy Stewart relieve every sitcom ever made from having to come up with an original idea for a Christmas episode.
Suicidal wackiness ensues.
Hosts:
Jim Fourniadis, Alexia Staniotes, John Hell, and other bell-ringers.
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December 15, 2013
The Nutcracker in 3-D
The children's story no child actually likes becomes a nighmare-inducing CGI abomination for all ages.
Unshelled wackiness ensues.
Hosts:
Sherilyn Connelly, Mikl-Em, Tim Kay, and other ballbusters.
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December 22, 2013
Black Christmas (2007)
A killer stalks nubile young women at a sorority house. One of them is Buffy's annoying younger sister, so it's not such a bad thing.
Pandemonium reigns and tinsel flies.
Hosts:
Jim Fourniadis, Ira Emsig, Mike Spiegelman, and other baggers.
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December 29, 2013
The Polar Express
A terrifying CGI train ride deep into the Uncanny Valley, where lifeless collections of pixels take on a vaguely human form to haunt your deepest nightmares.
Dead-eyed wackiness ensues.
Hosts:
Sherilyn Connelly, Ziad Ezzat, Dan Foley, and other valley-dwellers.
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